Well hello, it has been a while....

It has been over a year since my last post.  A lot has happened since then, and a lot has changed (including the name of this blog; I'm overhauling).

So, if you read all the past posts, and you're wondering, "OK, what the heck is wrong with this gal?", I'm here to catch you up to speed.

In March 2011 I finally found out why I was sick for so long.  Two words: Food Allergies

Over the year previous, I was tested and poked and prodded for everything from Crohns to Cancer, Celiacs to Leaky Gut, etc.  They did discover that my gallbladder simply didn't work (OK, it did, but only at a rate 15%) so that got removed.  I'm now 2 organs short of a whole person (my appendix ruptured when I was 8 so that's been missing for a while).  I suppose I'm grateful for that discovery, though unfortunately it was not the source of my issues.

The food allergies were discovered in March when I "fired" my gastroenterology doctor and checked out a highly recommended wellness center that leans toward Eastern medicine, yet embraces Western medicine when it is necessary.  The first thing they decided to investigate was possible food allergies.  This is a topic of conversation my gastroenterology doctor wouldn't embark on at all; he didn't believe any type of test was accurate.

Well, a few thousand (ugh) dollars later, I got my results... and they were overwhelming. I had enough allergens in similar families that I was told to avoid all the foods in particular families during the "elimination" portion of dealing with food allergies.  However, over time when most are supposed to be slowly reintroducing allergens in small amounts and being able to tolerate things in moderation... I simply can't.  I try... and I keep getting sick... extremely sick.

So, you want to know what I can eat?  Here's a listing in no particular order of "NOs" and "CANs" (the order is based upon how it comes out of my head when I'm doing a quick recall):

NO vegetables (except onions, go figure)
I CAN eat all fruit (except tomatoes, dang it)
I CAN eat beef.
NO birds (chicken, turkey, etc.)
NO pork
NO bison (bummer)
NO cod, tillapia (sp?), polluck, or haddock
I CAN eat salmon (but my roommate's allergic to it so it doesn't come in the house)
I CAN eat tuna (fresh and raw only - the canned stuff has vegetable broth in it which gets me sick and trust me, don't cook tuna 'cause it's gross)
I CAN eat most other fish to my knowledge, but it's not always affordable
NO soy
NO dairy
NO nuts
NO canola, safflower, or sunflower ANYTHING
NO beans (major loss)
I CAN consume goat milk, cheese, etc.
NO yeast (brewers or bakers... so that eliminates TONS of stuff with yeast including MSG, vinegar and anything with vinegar in it, like my favorite dill pickles)
NO peppers
I CAN eat most grains (some don't like me all the time, but it's hard to figure out which and when)
I CAN eat garlic
I CAN eat potatoes (sweet potatoes are still in question)
NO whole corn (though some corn products, like Grits, settle OK)
NO eggs

I THINK I covered most everything.  It surely leaves a lot to be desired.  I'm just starting to be OK with all the restrictions.  I am emotionally bothered less and less as time passes (except when I smell tomato soup... major emotional trigger).

The most detrimental thing about this whole situation is that I have a terribly hard time managing my weight.  Sources say not to eat meat and fruit in the same meal because it increases the chances of developing extra allergies to the fruit since it sits too long in the digestive system waiting for the meat to digest.  However, I have borderline hypoglycemia and the not eating protein with fruit makes me feel like crap.  Inside my body, when I consume simple carbohydrates like fruit, my pancreas is overproducing insulin to compensate (plus some) and that contributes to one hanging onto extra pounds.

Fruit and whole grains are very healthy, but I am learning that they don't do so well as the main staples in a diet.  I can only eat so much animal protein before I go crazy (I have never been a major meat eater, especially beef, plus it is tough on the pocket-book).  Additionally, not being able to eat vegetables is a real hitch in the get-up.  It's a major lose-lose situation right now, and I'm frustrated... and tired.  Nutritionally speaking, I know I'm not getting what I need despite supplements from my homeopathic doctor.  Unfortunately, they often make me throw up, so that just adds to the fun.

So, to conclude, I really need to figure out a plan.  I'm 27 years old, and I cannot continue living trapped in this body the way it is.  I'm tired, I'm often weak, and I want a future full of energy and health.  Maybe one of these days I'll find a great guy to settle down with, have a family, and just... continue moving forward with life.

I am going to start looking around for support locally.  I know a woman who is a counselor for Weight Watchers here and she said they may be able to help me work around my food allergies.  That will be the first place I investigate for support options.  Wish me luck, I will report when I find out more.

Satisfaction.

My apologies for not posting for a short while.  My internet has been a little sketchy, barely letting myself or my roommate connect to it long enough to check a simple email let alone draft and publish a blog post.  Rest assured, we're in the process of researching a new internet provider and our current one will let us disconnect for free since it turns out that we're in a "blind spot".  Who knew?

Things have been going well I guess.  To summarize the last few weeks, I established a good relationship with basic salads and then suddenly -Bam!- the relationship was over.  The last two salads I consumed (the 2nd one was just to make sure of things) made me quite ill just like they did in the past.  

Bummer.  

Anything else?  

Oh, my roommate's parents came to town two weeks ago for a visit and have been staying with us.  They leave tomorrow morning which means I can exercise on the elliptical again.  I have this thing about exercising with people in the house.  Bothers me beyond sensical reason.  I'm OK with my roommate being here, but not anyone else; it's worse than going to a gym.  That being said, I fully disclose that I did not formally exercise over the last two weeks, not even to bike to work (record-setting rain fall = dry drives to work in my trusty muddy Saturn).  I have tried to make the effort to move more while at work by regularly walking the length of the building, walking to coworkers' desks to ask questions, gather info, etc., rather than dialing their extension to talk while remaining in my butt-magnet office chair, and filling my water bottle from the filtered water spigot furthest from my work area.  Last night I also enjoyed about an hour and 20 minutes of rigorous volleyball which will become a regular Tuesday night thing after my Hmong language class is over (that's how you get kids to come learn to read and write their own language; bribery with sports works fantastically).  

While the salads were agreeing with my system, they provided semi-regular fiber that helped keep things, uh... going.  At one point, again, they started making me ill so when that finally subsided, I was so grateful to not be married to the toilet that I didn't realize I wasn't really going much anymore.  A week and a half ago the pain began.  My stomach kept hurting with this sharp-ish ache each day.  Hard to describe and unsure of what it was, I just kept trucking along.  I was following the OPTIFAST program to a T, what could be the issue?  I thought perhaps it was due to the stress of my supervisor being on vacation and having to do both my job and a good portion of his job too.  Monday, two days ago, the pain was intense enough that it interfered with my day significantly.   I soon figured out that I was, pardon me, pretty backed up.  When you gotta go but you can't, it's a gloomy day.  The minute I came home on Monday I stirred up a nice glass of -Gag!- Metamucil and chugged it.  I woke up at 2am and soon after all was right with the world again.  Tuesday morning, another glass of the orange goo.  Tuesday night, another.  This morning, you guessed it, and I just mixed and chugged again before settling down to write this before going to bed.  The Metamucil canister is now a decoration on the counter top in the kitchen so I don't forget to take it.  On the OPTIFAST plan most of what you take in is in the form of a liquid supplement.  My plan allows for 1 OPTIFAST bar a day and 4 shakes per day.  Not a ton to pass each day so I suppose my system likes to stockpile...? (Really, you should be used to this sort of banter by now).   

Lesson learned: Fiber is super super SUPER important.

On a quick (or not so quick) note, I've begun treatment for possible ADHD (non-hyperactivity) through Alaska Premier Health too.  During an appointment a few weeks ago I was randomly asked, "Have you ever been tested for ADHD?"  Never, never, had I ever thought that question would be asked of me.  Come on! I was that overweight, well-behaved, quiet kid who did everything she was told (except keep an organized bedroom) who turned into an overweight, well-behaved, quiet but better at being verbose at times, adult who still does everything she knows she should do (except keep an organized bedroom, handle social situations of 5 or more people without having a break down and running away, be comfortable with taking a pee break once in a while at work and not being so reactive to stressful situations that arise there... and the list goes on).  

I've been reading that ADHD commonly goes undiagnosed in many women and is being found often when their kids have been diagnosed (apparently it can be hereditary) and their lives start proverbially caving in on them quite late in the game.  I understand the feeling and I'm not even married or a mom yet.  Feeling like one's life is caving in is bad; finding a solution is good.  It's not a mental disability or illness, nor is it a chemical deficiency; it's a chemical difference.  I really like how that difference was illustrated a few weeks ago for me: Back in the hunter/gatherer days a woman easily distractible or a day-dreamer may not have gathered berries as quickly or efficiently as her counterparts... but when the bear/wolf/lion came through, she'd be the one who'd notice and save the village.  

I started taking medication yesterday and will not be formally writing about that here.  Rather, I will be adding another tab above and will update that separate page with scanned versions of my hand-written log that I'm keeping regarding my observed changes.  

Today was one of my appointments at Alaska Premier Health.  I'm down a total of 19 lbs and 6 oz!  Believe me, I'm still very much not close to any size that could be categorized as "average" but have reached the beginning of that pivotal point where my coworkers are starting to notice something is slightly different.  Today one of them said, "Joanna, I think you pants are getting a little baggier".  While walking around the office I noticed she was right; they kept moving back and forth around my hips and waist, not quite keeping hold of my ample bum and hips anymore. Who needs a belt? I do! I do!! Me! Me! Me! I need a freakin' belt pronto!!! The odd movement of my jeans grew more annoying with every step I took for the rest of the day but at the same time, I felt an element of satisfaction... enough so that after work I went to good ol' Uncle Freddy's (Fred Meyer) and grabbed 5 different pairs of jeans from the size below what I've been wearing just to see what would happen.  

My hypothesis was that one pair might fit and the rest for sure would be significantly too tight.  That's usually how it goes even when trying on jeans in one's current size; welcome to being female.

Newsflash: ALL 5 PAIRS OF JEANS FIT!!!  Holy socks!  

I took some photos today while trying on jeans, etc. and will now present to you a photo montage!!!

(Now nobody can say I don't post pictures.) 

Everyone dropping a few pounds seems to have one of THESE pictures... ooh la la!

But what about one of THESE? (Don't worry, I tucked in the shirt for modesty reasons; only jeans and shirt showing). Having fun yet?

Here's the butt of a moose outside of my office today...

And here's MY butt in my favorite of the 5 pairs of SMALLER jeans I tried on (pardon the yellow of the dressing room) at Freddy's.

And my butt and left thigh (photo taken in a mirror; my right thigh has a large protruding bump of scar tissue on it from being nearly killed by a drunk driver in 2005 that started out as a massive blood clot/hematoma and will hopefully -finally- be removed this calendar year).  

And the same side, again, where you can also see my lovely lower legs; I am not built with small legs and a more well-endowed bust like many "fluffy" women I know... which makes clothing shopping a royal pain.  So many manufacturers that are cool enough to make larger sizes seem to cater to the figure that's larger on top and smaller on the bottom. Ugh.

Guilty as charged; I bought the jeans.

Just in case anyone was wondering...

And I got a belt too... to hold up my current jeans for just a little longer (the cost of one belt is cheaper than replacing two pairs of jeans).

What? You're shocked that I didn't previously own a belt?  All of this good happy my-tummy-is-feeling-better-and-my-roommate's-parents-are-going-home-and-I-dropped-a-jean-size glee and you're concerned with my belt history?  Sigh.

Well, be that way.  Just think of how many cows lived because I chose not to wear belts for the last almost 26 years.

Until next time, sleep well.

Good Jewish Mothers

Meet the one man that can get me out in the rain, sleet, snow or sunshine and make me walk, walk and walk some more.  He also doesn't excessively watch sports, play video games, ogle other women (unless they're holding a tennis ball) or wear white socks with black slacks that are to short when he sits down.  This pooch is the perfect gentleman... minus the fur, slobber, lack of vocabulary skills and the fact that he licks his butt.  

This isn't my dog.  I house-sit for his family and have the pleasure of hanging out with him regularly; might as well be family.  This weekend I'm hanging with the pooch again (my cat is jealous) and getting 2 hours of walking in each day.  That's right, 2 hours.

This week I've been really good about exercising.  I've been using my elliptical each morning for 45 minutes and each evening for 15 minutes, enough to clear out my day's events yet not prevent me from falling asleep.  I've stayed on program and even survived a lunch out with a close friend and his extended family on Thursday at an all-you-can eat buffet in town.  I spent $8 on the equivalent of a side-salad, ate so slow that I took my last bite right before the rest of the crew took their 3rd trip to the buffet for dessert and... was absolutely VICTORIOUS.  My friend's father and brother-in-law kept trying to give me ice cream.  It went something like this:

Dad: "Joanna, you should get some ice cream."

Me: "No, I'm good."

Brother: "Aw, come on. It's good but it would be better if they had Oreo crunchies."

Me: "No really, I'm ok."

Brother: "What flavor do you want? I'll get you a bowl."

Me: "Please don't, I'm OK."

Dad: "Wanna bite of mine?"

Me: "No, thank you, it will make me sick."

Brother: "Really? Just a little bit?"

Me: "I like a lot of things, but a lot of things don't like me."

Brother: "Ah, you're lactose intolerant."

Me: "Sure, that's it.  I'm lactose intolerant."

The women in my friend's family didn't question me, never bothered me about just eating a salad, never mentioned dessert.... what's up with men? Are they all pre-programmed to be (as my mother states it) good Jewish mothers? 

Oh wait, and then there was the bank teller today.  In the drive-through to deposit my paycheck, with an empty car except for myself, I was offered a sucker.  The woman in the window held one up and asked, "Would you like one?"  I laughed a little bit and said, "No, thank you".  And then she said, "Are you sure?" What part of NO didn't she understand? And what the heck was she offering me a sucker for? 

Today I've decided that this world needs to remember what the meaning of NO is.  After someone says, "No" people ought to remember that follow-up questions and various statements meant to cajole shouldn't be thrown around.  Period.  

Speaking of decisions, today at my weigh-in I also decided that I really hate the scale.  I worked so hard exercising and staying on program this week and actually, again, gained one pound.  Seriously, my body has no idea what's good for it.  I'm so frustrated.

PS.  My bicycle is all tuned up and I'm making a goal to ride it to work next week at least twice.  Wish me luck.

Where's my t-shirt?

Happy Wednesday morning!  A few days ago I got through editing photos I took from a road trip (annual morale day) my team from work went on 2 Fridays ago to Seward.  The above photo is of a sign at the Alaska SeaLife Center that tickled me pink!  I want this on a t-shirt!

On a serious note, point being, blah blah blah... everyone is attractive in their own skin.  Don't let anyone ever tell you that you aren't attractive because you don't look like the women and men who saunter down runways, get airbrushed and thrown in the checkout stands to taunt people while purchasing produce, pillows and praline ice cream if so be it.  Who are media moguls to determine what is beautiful? Handsome? Worthy to love?

They are nobody.

Whether you are struggling with your body image or perfectly comfortable with who you are... celebrate yourself today.

You'll hear from me again on Friday; staying busy and can't squeeze a weigh-in this week until then.

The Willpower of a Goldfish

As you can see on the left hand side, I'm down 5 lbs this week; back on track!  My digestive system is still behaving and I've had no flare-ups recently.  I've been either pointedly exercising or making sure I'm active in some way each day and have been making sure my water intake is more than adequate.  Yes I'm giving you the bum's rush on the update details but don't worry, like a good opera, it's not over till I sing.

I've been on this new adventure for 4 weeks now and have not had the support of my family because *gasp* I have not included them in it.  This is very typical of my adventures; I make decisions and/or changes in my life, try them out for a short while, then inform the family later seeking their well-wishes.  It's how I operate, how I will always operate, you can't change me, so there.

Lucky me, my family is small (I'm an only child) and I only have to break this to 2 people.  The extended family can cope with finding out later, I don't really care.

Last week I wrote:

b) Week 1 and 2 weren't difficult but week 3 was a doozy; I know it will get easier from here and I really have to include my family in this adventure soon.  How about I commit to telling them after weigh-in number 4?

Weigh-in number 4 has come so here goes...

Dear Mom and Dad,

You know that list the gastroenterologist gave me that pretty much advised me to only eat air? (Ok, I was down to rice and lean meat; same difference.)  Well, I was feeling really lousy, had no energy and then got a genius idea.  Start from the first post and this blog explains everything.  I had my 4 weeks of being independently adventurous but given that we live in the same city again, I come visit often, and I have the willpower of a goldfish... I need some backup.

This shouldn't surprise you.  Again, we all know I make decisions, sit on them, then go public.  It's how I roll.  If you want a genetic fairy to blame it on, Dad's side of the gene pool can take the hit; this very topic came up at his aunt and uncle's anniversary barbeque (I'm not the only one who does this).

Love you much,
Jo

Alright people, I did it.  Sending a link to the blog to my mother and she'll pass it on to dad.

La la la la laaaaa!!!

That means this post is over... What? You thought I'd really sing at the end?  -Pffftttt!-  Never. The comment at the beginning about singing after an opera, if you haven't figured it out, is how many people cope with any sort of difference in this society: HUMOR.  Laughter staves off the tears.

Paying the Price; Who Gets the Mullah?

This last week I actually gained 1 pound, shamefully paying the price for:

a) not exercising every day
b) going off program for 2 days after eating at a family reunion (my family is unaware of this new adventure as of yet, I was saving face) and
c) being way too stressed out and not sleeping half as much as I should have (my boss was out of town; I got to do his job AND mine for 5 days. In fact, I just finished a 13 hour day at the office... sitting on my butt pushing papers)

What I have learned from this:
a) At least for my body, daily exercise is CRUCIAL... or else.
b) Week 1 and 2 weren't difficult but week 3 was a doozy; I know it will get easier from here and I really have to include my family in this adventure soon.  How about I commit to telling them after weigh-in number 4?
c) I grew up hearing the statement that "early to bed and early to rise, makes a man [or woman] healthy, wealthy and wise"; don't know about about the wealthy and wise parts but I'm pretty darn convinced about the healthy one!

In other news....

A lot of people on the OPTIFAST program are allowed to also eat unlimited vegetables (I don't know if there are certain ones to avoid or not).  I opted not to have the unlimited vegetables in my specific plan because I haven't been able to tolerate them since December so what would be the point?  Well, last week at my appointment I was encouraged to try eating a salad to see what happens.  Today was the day I chose to give it a shot.  Really needing to get a break from the office and coworkers (I was ready to toss one out the window; pity we're in a single-story building) I stopped by Alaska Premier Health for my weigh-in and went to Subway.  I ordered a Veggie Salad (redundant, I know) which I customized to contain lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, green peppers, pickles (dill), banana peppers and black olives (that was an accident, I don't even like black olives-thank goodness they only put like 5 slivers on) topped with vinegar and a shake of their salt and pepper mix.

Having not eaten salad in forever, I was in heaven munching on the greens while working.  The best components of the salad were the pickles.  I LOVE pickles.  I have loved pickles since I can remember.  They are amazing and go well on nearly anything imaginable (no, I have never put them on any sort of dessert and yes, as I kid I put them on pizza).  They are low-calorie and full of flavor!  Even better, pickles are GREEN, my favorite color! They're absolutely perfect and wonderful and oober yummy! Have I mentioned that I love pickles?

Whew, that was fun.

Continuing on...

About 2 hours after finishing the salad I got a little sick, but nothing like before.  The bloating I consistently experienced after eating greens before was minimal and other side affects were less traumatic than usual.  I'm hypothesizing that perhaps in combination with other triggers to my unhappy digestive system, greens and veggies wreak more havoc than they do alone.  This will be an ongoing trial, like a science experiment.  I may have just gotten lucky this round.  Wish me luck.

A short leash.

I'm writing this on Saturday July 10th but had my weigh-in and appointment at Alaska Premier Health was on Wednesday July 7th. Yes, yes... I am a procrastinator.

As you can see on the left, I didn't lose anything for my second week. Being female, once a month Mother Nature's pesky gift comes around and sure enough, it hit last week. Normally while on my period I gain weight temporarily, at least 5 pounds. That being said, the fact that I maintained my weight loss from week one is considered somewhat of a victory in my book. I won't lie, I was disappointed, but perhaps waiting a few days to write this has helped me get back in touch with reality.

Last weekend I got sick really bad, just like I did before starting the OPTIFAST program when I'd risk it and eat a salad. What does "sick" mean? Cramping, bloating, headache, blood pressure drops followed by sudden severe diarrhea, dehydration and whatever else decides to wreak havoc on my body... if you were curious. When this happens I become very lethargic, don't want to see anybody, talk to anybody or do anything except curl up somewhere comfortable with a direct route to a toilet. For years my family has called this "having a short leash", meaning one can't go far from the restroom. (That was a cue for a chuckle given that I just got a little graphic.)

I'm not big on taking medication to stop diarrhea, it creeps me out (plus I'm very afraid of having the opposite problem). If my body is trying to get rid of something, then by golly it should do its thing and get rid of it. Same with vomiting, fevers, migraines, etc.; I'm a fan of letting things run their course. However, this doesn't mean one can't interject issues naturally. With diarrhea, since I've been so familiar with it for the last 6-months or so, I've figured out that eating a cup of plain white sticky rice helps -uh- firm things up a bit.

I did veer off the OPPTIFAST program during this weekend of issues and ate rice to help my predicament. It added a couple hundred calories to my day for Sunday and Monday as I've found that cooked Jasmine rice is about 205 calories per cup. I was told at my appointment eating the rice probably didn't thwart the weight-loss efforts too much. I personally think the biggest problem during episodes like the one this last weekend is that when I am sick like that the last thing I want to do, or have the energy to do, is exercise.

Hopefully this was brought on by my period, which is likely considering that the uterus is in the same vicinity as the intestines. With it doing it's monthly freak-out session perhaps everything nearby was irritated as well. That's what I'm hoping for; I really don't want to walk around worried that any minute I'm going to have another episode. With the relief I've found already from the OPTIFAST program I've found some freedom. I'd rather no take that freedom and chuck it out the window yet.

Well, here's to another week and the 5th episode of Drop Dead Diva's 2nd season that will be airing starting Sunday. I'm not much of a TV fan myself, but while recovering from gallbladder surgery a couple months ago I channel-surfed and discovered this show. It has its ditzy elements but I find it rather liberating for all types of women, especially those of us who can be described as anything but thin. Give it a shot at mylifetime.com... it's great to watch while exercising too!

The first seven

Yesterday was my first weigh-in since starting the OPTIFAST program at Alaska Premier Health. I should have written last night but I had a friend over to help make my dryer work again; the capability to complete laundry took precedence over this update. My apologies for making whomever is reading this wait that one extra day to find out that I... lost SEVEN pounds!!!

Even better than the seven pound weight loss is the fact that the OPTIFAST products are not irritating my digestive system and I'm starting to feel somewhat human again. Where I found some relief from taking my diet down to only rice and lean meat previously to avoid digestive issues, with OPTIFAST I am now enjoying the return of an old friend I like to call "Umph" (pronounced OOM-FH). Umph up and left back in December. I lost the Umph to walk to a nearby lake just for the heck of it. I had no Umph left to even think of socializing after a day at the office. I was utterly Umphless. In the last week since Umph has returned, this is what I have done outside of my normal week of working Monday through Friday, learning Hmong and teaching music on Tuesday evening, and church on Sunday:

-I drove a new-to-Alaska friend to Girdwood and back to Anchorage while checking out all the sights including walking all the boardwalks of Potters Marsh on Monday.
-On wednesday evening I went to a summer religion class that started a few weeks ago that I just haven't felt up to attending after work.
-On Thursday after work I walked to one of the LDS (Mormon) church buildings and back worry-free except for the cotton-wood fluff in the air and the rude guy who hollered at me.
-After the walk on Thursday I enjoyed the company of a good friend for a few hours during and after fixing the dryer.
-Tonight after work I spent nearly 5 hours at a social gathering with a bunch of Mormon young single adults who were very much involved in eating, and eating... and eating some more. I was even nice and sight-read a few piano pieces while a group sang before I left to come home.

I can hardly believe not only that I did all this... but that I did it willingly.

Conclusion: A happier digestive system = A happier Joanna

Never ask a woman about her weight...

Hello, my name is Joanna. I'm 25 years old and have had the unfortunate pleasure of being moo-ed at as a child and teenager. Thank goodness adults have moved beyond moo-ing at overweight people and have advanced themselves to visual body checks before delivering looks of distaste while we innocently pass through ice-cream sections at grocery stores simply on our way to get eggs and plain yogurt.

If you've ever "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" and understand what it's like to be on the ample side of things, please join me on my new journey of discovery. I theorize that through this journey I will finally discover what is really ailing my body while at the same time improving my health, image, outlook and so much more.

And now, some background information:

I work for a local non-profit agency writing treatment plans for mentally ill adults and had an interesting experience about 2 weeks ago. I was battling a cold and sneezed while nearing the end of a meeting with a client and he asked, "Want to know what to do about that?" I chuckled and answered, "Sure", thinking he was going to tell me something along the lines of needing to drink orange juice and sleep longer.

Well, he didn't.

This client looked at me and said, "You need to eat more vegetables and exercise. It will help you lose weight".

I picked my jaw up off the floor and, with the help of a clinician who was in the meeting with me, used this as light-hearted teaching opportunity. We talked to the client about social mores of interacting with women such as NEVER ASK A WOMAN ABOUT HER WEIGHT. Of a sound mind or not, most men have yet to understand or apply this.

What this client didn't know is that I am working on exactly what he was talking about... minus eating more vegetables. Yes, let me explain.

In December 2009 something I deem rather evil attacked my digestive system, prompted a friend to drag me to the emergency room, and I haven't been the same since. I've been tested for many things, and re-tested for half of them. One minute the gallbladder was ruled out, the next minute it was decided I had Biliary Diverticulitis and it was taken out. I've been poked, prodded, pushed... I've peed in cups, crapped in containers, been tested, tried and I'm tired. After a full recovery from the gallbladder removal (which helped the pain but did nothing for other symptoms), about 2 weeks ago my gastroenterologist gave me a "Joanna-shouldn't-eat-this" list to follow, hoping to settle my system down and give me a break from more testing for a while (Crohns is a suspect if that gives any perspective). I really should have asked him for a sticky-note with a list of things I SHOULD eat; it would have been a lot easier.

The left side of "The List" contained all dairy and dairy-related products (which includes bread, processed meats, pasta and a handful of unpronounceable ingredients to look for in packaged products). The right side of "The List" listed a huge number of fruits and vegetables as well as beans, legumes and garlic. My gastroenterologist added that if anything not on the list caused *ahem* issues, to avoid those too.

This boiled my diet down to rice and lean meat.

Now you understand why I'm not working on eating more vegetables. I haven't been able to enjoy vegetables for about 6 months; oh what I would do for a green salad.

These last 6 months have not only delivered multiple levels of pain and frustration... I dare say that I've grown rather depressed. Not that I'm a social butterfly, but I socialize less. I don't get excited about much, I prefer to be at work or home rather than out and about with friends... and I think I may be forgetting how to smile. I can barely drive to work and back without storming into a gas station bathroom with an "I have to go NOW" emergency let alone go on a road trips like I always love to do in the summers.

A few weeks ago, feeling like hope was going down the toilet... I made a choice that will change my life.

Goodbye rice! Goodbye lean meat! I've taken a trip to Alaska Premier Health and am starting a medically supervised diet utilizing the OPTIFAST plan.

I've spoken with my gastroenterologist about this and he is supportive. It will allow my system to get a break while I also drop some weight, which is always beneficial to other health concerns. During the time of the diet where healthy foods are reintroduced, I will be working closely with my gastroenterologist to monitor what does and does not irritate my system so we can hopefully find more answers.

I began the program on Thursday June 24th. I will post again after my weigh-in next week. Wish me luck!



Stay tuned for more!